eyes only for you
All relationships are healthy, strong, and require very little work between you and your partner. NOT!
Relationships are like a boat; you have good days on the water and bad. It takes work, commitment, and a desire to adapt to the vessel and water's changes.
It doesn't matter if your relationship is starting or you've been together for years; there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship together.
I'm going to give you four ways to make your relationship better.
1) Get right with yourself
After my wife and I divorced, I believed all women were unfaithful.
What I didn't realize, I was thinking that when I started dating again. Relationship after relationship would end within weeks of dating. I couldn't find a woman I could trust.
One day a friend came to me and asked, "what is the common denominator in your troubled relationships?" I responded by saying, "women are untrustworthy!"
He said, "no, Mark, it's you!"
"It's not the women. It's your idea of women being unfaithful that you can't trust."
Dave was right. I had issues that I had not dealt with and pushed away, hoping it wouldn't come back up. It turns out it was right there under my nose.
Before you go and blame others for your unhappiness, take a good hard, and honest look at yourself first.
If you had a friend you knew was stealing from you every time he/she came to the house. How long before you break off the friendship. It's the same with your partner. Why would you want to share your life with someone when you think they're untrustworthy?
If you can't trust them to be honest, faithful, or caring, your relationship is in the wrong place.
The trust has to be strong enough to keep you both together when problems arise, and guess what! Problems will arise!
3) Past is the past
1 Corinthians 13
Keep no record of wrongs
In an argument, many of us are quick to bring up the past and use it as a knife to cut the one we love and trust the most. Before you say something that could damage trust in your partner or, worse, end the relationship take a deep breath, wait five seconds while asking yourself, is it fair to bring the past up just because I'm hurt? The answer to that should always be NO!
Communication is the key to any relationship; without it, your time together is limited.
I feel this is the most important in any relationship.
When you're in an argument, stop thinking about the winning dig to end the fight, and start listening to your partner and end it right.
Next week I'll be talking about "successful arguments. Meantime, please tell me one or two things you and your partner do together that make your relationship work.